Category Archives: General

Never underestimate the power of good manners

From the Sunday, January 8, 2012 New York Times magazine article “How Many Stephen Colberts Are There?

Colbert, who is good at compartmentalization, manages in spite of this exhausting schedule to make time for his family. For some of the writers, the job is more all-consuming. One of them, Opus Moreschi, told me that he solves the problem of how to balance the job and a life by forgoing the life. “Basically, I’ve never had a life except for comedy, so it isn’t that much of a problem,” he said. Yet for all the demands that Colbert puts on his staff members, he is apparently beloved by them. “There are a lot of unhappy people in comedy,” Purcell said, “and sometimes you get a very radioactive vibe. But Stephen has an excellent way of treating people. You should never underestimate the power of good manners.”

On a related front, I was at the meat counter at my local Whole Foods, trying to get the butchers to make a batch of ground chicken necks for me (dog food for Frankie), and sometimes they don’t really want to do this because I guess it’s a pain in the ass for them, but I made my pitch and ended it with “Please.” At that the butcher looked up at me and smiled. “In that case…” he said. “Doesn’t everyone say ‘please’ when they want something from you.” By his look, he said “no.” Which I found dispiriting. Really? People don’t say, “Could I get a pound of ground turkey, please?” Apparently not. Channel Nancy Reagan’s war on drugs motto and “Just say please.” Didn’t your mother teach you to always say “please”?

Matt Rich opening at Samsøn

Ribbon

Self portraits are so hard to take


Self Portraits are so hard to take
Originally uploaded by erikorama.

Self portrait taken at Georgia Brown’s in Washington, DC, where we’re having lunch after attending nephew Andrei’s high school graduation.

After the rain


After the rain
Originally uploaded by erikorama.

Outline of Mini Cooper in parking lot.

Office carpet

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carpet.jpg, originally uploaded by erikorama.

Just playing with a texture thing here. This is my office carpet.

I guess this is how/why word of mouth works

Because I conduct the Cool Friend interviews at tompeters.com, a few publishers send me books in the mail occasionally. Books they think will appeal to us at tompeters.com. A while ago this book showed up, The Power of Full Engagement. I knew nothing about it or the author. (Apparently the book and its author had appeared on Oprah, thereby making it stratospherically popular. I somehow missed all that.) Not having been influenced by anyone to pay attention to the book (other than the marketer from the publishing house who had sent it my way), I tossed it out. (A lot of books come my way in the mail now. Too many to deal with all of them.)

Then, last week, Tom Peters did a talk for Targeted Learning Corporation that was broadcast from a studio in Watertown, MA. I went with Tom, and while I was sitting in the makeup/green room watching Tom on the TV monitor, in strolls a tall man in a pinstripe suit. Turns out it’s Tony Schwartz. He mentions his book mentions that he was on Oprah and I of course say, “We’ll have to make you a Cool Friend.” Of course.

Point? Well, had the book changed since I had last seen it on the pile of books in my office? No, obviously. But now I had met the guy. So now the book had merit. Just because I had met him? Yes. It at least had my attention. But if I had really trusted my own judgment, couldn’t I have made a decision about the book without having met the author? Meaning that if I didn’t think the book was worth being talked about, what difference would it make that I then met the author? But then this is how a lot of judgments are made: just based on meeting someone. Because that person is there and someone else isn’t. On the one hand it makes sense, on the other hand, it doesn’t say much for my power of judgment. Or is it that we just don’t have time to make a lot of these judgments? (I hadn’t in fact read any of the book the publisher had sent me.) Given all the options and possibilities and things to pay attention to, we count on the personal touch to help us figure out what to do. And maybe that’s not so bad.

Flowers

Was in a florist shop today picking out flowers for my valentine. And it occurred to me that people aren’t as involved with flowers as they ought to be. Meaning they call a florist and say they’d like the $50 bouquet and that’s it. The most challenging part is deciding on the message that’s going to be written to your loved one by a total stranger. Either you get a handwritten note that looks like it was written by a fourth grader (a little heart instead of a dot over the “i” for instance). Or, and this may be worse, you get that little typewritten note that looks like it was produced by the world’s cheapest printer. That’s so impersonal. I recommend going to a florist shop and buying your own flowers. Pick them out yourself. Okay, so at first it’s scary because you don’t think you know how to do it. But there’s no knowing, there’s just experimentation. Find a flower or even just a color you like, or one that you know your loved one likes, and then keep adding. There’s always someone there in the shop who’s happy to help you. Go with their recommendations initially and then get more adventurous. And the great thing about flower shops is that there are different flowers available each time you go. So it’s not even possible to get in to a “same bouquet” rut.

And this goes for women as well. My wife, my valentine, regularly brings home flowers for me as well. I love that.